Pamela Wright, ESQ.

3 Things to Consider Before Your Child Support Court Hearing

Here's 3 things to consider before your child support court hearing:

 

1. Do you have an updated Income & Expense Declaration on file with the court?

 

2. Do you have your paycheck stubs for the last two months on file with the court? If you own a business do you have a profit and loss statement from the last two years or a Schedule C from your last federal tax return on file with the court?

 

3. Do you have your State and Federal income tax returns and all loan applications (whether or not the loan was granted) for the last two years?  

 

In California, it's important to have financial documentation to support your position in a child support case.  The above mentioned documents are used to prove how much a party earns or how much the party's business earns.  It is important that you have this information for yourself and obtain this information from the other party in your case.  Child support is about the numbers in California... the financial numbers and the child custody timeshare percentage.

So You Want Full Custody?

In California, the court is likely to award parents joint legal and joint physical custody of their child unless there's a reason why it shouldn't.  Full custody refers to a parent having sole legal and sole physical custody of their child.    Since the standard position in California is for parents to get joint legal and joint physical custody when all else is equal, a parent who wants full custody must prove why the court should stray from granting joint custody and award them full custody.

 

The best way to prove why you should get full custody is to request a child custody evaluation and obtain a favorable recommendation from the child custody evaluator.  Basically, you are going to need to find evidence that supports why it's in your child's best interest for you to have full custody.  A child custody evaluator's favorable recommendation is very persuasive to a judge and can cause the judge to rule in your favor. 

 

The types of cases where judges are inclined to grant full custody to one parent over the other includes cases where one parent's domestic violence, child abuse, substance abuse, mental illness and/or neglect is harming a child.  If you want full custody of your child then you must bring the evidence the judge will need to grant your request in court.

Talking to Your Child About Divorce or Growing Up in 2 Homes

Are you looking for a way to talk to your child about divorce, separation or growing up with two homes?  Well, I've found 3 books that will help you explain things to your child.

Kids really have no clue what's really going on when their parents separate or divorce.  Many times they draw conclusions that are not true and affect them adversely for the rest of their lives.  And just because kids are not acting out badly or asking questions doesn't mean they don't have questions.

 

Kids deserve to be given the security of understanding what is happening to their lives.  The books listed below will help.

 

 "Books for Kids & Parents About Divorce or Growing Up in 2 Homes"

Here's a book list for you and your child:

1.  My Two Homes by Susan Magsamen;

2.  Two Homes by Claire Masurel and Kady Macdonald Denton; and

3.  Mom's House, Dad's House: Making Two Homes for Your Child by Isolina Ricci.

You can order these books online at Amazon.com.  Giving your child a healthy perspective on what's happening to his or her life is a very good thing! 

3 Things You Can Do to Prepare for Your Child Custody Mediation

 So, you're getting ready for your child custody mediation appointment at the courthouse tomorrow and would like some advice on how to prepare.  Here's 3 things you can do to get ready:

#1 Write Out Your Proposed Custody & Visitation Plan

First, take a moment to decide whether you're seeking sole custody (also known as "full custody") or joint custody of your child.  Write down whatever you decide.  

   

Next, turn your attention to creating a visitation plan.  It's good to think through what type of visitation plan would be best for your child before you go to mediation.  Having a clear vision about what you want, gives you a better chance of not being pushed into an agreement you do not want.  If you plan one or multiple visitation plans, you'll be in a better position to negotiate a great visitation plan for your child.

Here's a few types of visitation schedules to consider but you can create and propose whatever you think works best for your child:

 

A.  A child lives primarily with one parent during the week, has an overnight midweek visit with the other parent and alternates weekends between two households;

 

B.  A child alternates living with one parent every other week

 

C.  A child lives with one parent during the week and visits the other parent every weekend or alternating weekends

 

D.  A child lives 2 days with one parent, 2 days with the other parent and alternates spending the next 3 day period with each parent.

 

E.  Holidays can be divided between the parents yearly or alternate yearly or be allocated however you choose in a settlement agreement. For example, a child can spend a portion of Winter Break, Spring Break or Summer Vacation with a parent.  Or, a child can spend the entire time period with a parent subject to a yearly alternating schedule.  Or, the parents can select something different such as allocating certain holidays to a particular parent.

 

Ultimately, you can create whatever type of visitation schedule you think will be in your child's best interest and propose it.  You can create one proposed schedule or multiple options.  Take at least 3 copies of your proposal with you so you, the mediator, and your child's other parent can review it during the mediation.

#2  Remember Mediation is Voluntary 

Just remember that mediation is voluntary so you do not have to reach an agreement.  This means you absolutely do not have to sign an agreement you do not feel good about.  So, do not be tricked into signing an agreement you do not want to sign.  Just say "No" and walk away from it.   

Ultimately, if you do not resolve your custody and visitation issues via mediation the next step will be to either pursue another round of negotiation or have the judge decide these issues.   

#3  Adopt a Winning Mindset

Child Custody Mediation is about reasonable compromise in order to formulate a custody and visitation plan that is in your child's best interest.  That means neither parent will likely get everything they want in a settlement but hopefully through reasonable compromise they will be able to formulate a custody and visitation plan that is in their child's best interest. 

 

When you go into child custody mediation with a mind open to reasonable compromise and a strong desire to formulate a custody and visitation plan that is in your child's best interest, you're more likely to settle your custody and visitation issues.  

 

 

Copyright 2010, The Family Law Company, All rights reserved.

7 Steps to Win Your Child Custody Case

Get your FREE Report "7 Steps to Win Your Child Custody Case" at www.TheFamilyLawCompany.com. 

In the world of child custody, knowledge and knowing how to apply that knowledge is definitely power you can use to help win your case. 

Do You Want Your Maiden Name Back?

In California, you can get your maiden name back at the end of your divorce. If you're going through a divorce and want your maiden name back, check the appropriate box on your divorce petition requesting that your maiden name be restored.  If you did not check this box and you're about to settle your case or go to trial, make sure you request it anyway.  You can make it a term of your final divorce judgment.

If you decide you want your maiden name back after you have a final divorce judgment, you can always file the appropriate name change paperwork with the court to do so.

Good luck!

The Road to Completely Happy

"Every morning before arising, lie relaxed in bed and deliberately drop happy thoughts into your conscious mind."  -- Norman Vincent Peale

FREE Gift for YOU! (now closed)

For Women at Every Stage of the Divorce Process…

“Finally Revealed: An Empowerment Tool You Can Use to Take Charge of Your Life Now So YOU Can Create the Future You and Your Children Deserve!”

Get Your FREE Copy of Our Downloadable Guide “29 Strategies to Empower You.”  Go to www.GlobalDivorceSupport.com to get your Free Gift now. 

You'll find 29 simple-to-follow strategies to help you get centered, calm and confident quickly.

Women's Divorce Support Workshop Starting December 8th! (now closed)

**Get YOUR FREE GIFT **  

Go to www.GlobalDivorceSupport.com to claim it now! (now closed)

  

Women’s Divorce Support Workshop Starting December 8, 2009!

Pamela Wright, JD

 

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

 

Hi there,

 

Can you believe the Winter Holidays are almost here again!  Are you ready?  I’m not…thank goodness I still have a few more weeks left to get there. 

 

Well, this Holiday at the Global Divorce Support Institute it is our intention to celebrate empowerment.  So, we’re embarking on an Empowerment Journey!

 

Are You Going Through a Divorce, Contemplating One, or Been There Done That? 

 

Have you been feeling worried and anxious lately?  And are you feeling stuck, confused or scared about your future?  Now, tell me, does the thought of having more clarity about where you’re going sound really good about now?  

Well, the Women’s Divorce Support Workshop can help you get more clarity and feel better about your next step — where you’re going, what you’re doing and who you’re going to be. 

So, take a moment and imagine getting some great empowerment tools over the holidays.  Empowerment tools that can help you change your life forever.  What would open up for you if you had the power to simply take charge of your life now?  Would you start a business, change careers, take classes to boost your salary, or something else entirely?  

 

On December 8, 2009, we’re starting the Women’s Divorce Support Workshop which is a 6-week series exploring how to Take Charge of YOUR Life Now!  We will show you a simple step-by-step system to:

 

***Handle Change Successfully So You Can Create the Future You and Your Children Deserve;

 

***Communicate with Your Ex or Soon-to-Be Ex Effectively So You Stay in Control;

 

***Go from Chaos to Calm Quickly So You Can Relax and Sleep Peacefully at Night.

 

The Women’s Divorce Support Workshop will be co-facilitated by my good friend and colleague Debbie Murad who has spent over 15 years helping women find their path to empowerment and myself.  

Debbie Murad, LCSW & Women's Empowerment Expert

Debbie is a LCSW in private practice and a Women’s Empowerment Expert.  She has created numerous programs that have empowered women to transform their lives by handling change successfully!   

 The Women’s Divorce Support Workshop will meet live for a tele-group from 12 p.m. (noon) – 1:15 p.m. (PST) (you can call in from your land line or cell phone from anywhere in the world. You can also listen in from your computer.) on:

 

***Tuesday, December 8 and 22 of 2009 & January 5 and 12 of 2010.

 

Additionally, self-study exercises will be posted online by 12 p.m. (noon) on:

 

***Tuesday, December 15 and 29 of 2009.

 

Are you wondering about price yet?  Well, here’s the scoop on the Great deal you’re going to get on this amazing 6-week Women’s Divorce Support Workshop Series: 

 

***The regular price for this series is $497;

***Sign up by November 10, 2009, and get the early, early bird price of $297;

***Or, sign up between November 11-24, 2009, and get the early bird price of $397.  

 

Register for this amazing empowerment experience now!  

  

YES, I’m In!

Pay by November 10, 2009 $297.00 Pay between November 11-24, 2009 $397.00 Pay after November 24, 2009 $497.00

Thanks!

 

To Your Success,  

 

Pamela Wright, JD

Your Divorce Support Guide

 

P.S.

You’re going to simply find your path to empowerment on this journey!  You’ll see…

 

P.P.S.

Are you ready to have some fun?  Let’s go!

Be Brilliant!

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” (emphasis supplied)

---Marianne Williamson