3 Things You Can Do to Prepare for Your Child Custody Mediation

 So, you're getting ready for your child custody mediation appointment at the courthouse tomorrow and would like some advice on how to prepare.  Here's 3 things you can do to get ready:

#1 Write Out Your Proposed Custody & Visitation Plan

First, take a moment to decide whether you're seeking sole custody (also known as "full custody") or joint custody of your child.  Write down whatever you decide.  

   

Next, turn your attention to creating a visitation plan.  It's good to think through what type of visitation plan would be best for your child before you go to mediation.  Having a clear vision about what you want, gives you a better chance of not being pushed into an agreement you do not want.  If you plan one or multiple visitation plans, you'll be in a better position to negotiate a great visitation plan for your child.

Here's a few types of visitation schedules to consider but you can create and propose whatever you think works best for your child:

 

A.  A child lives primarily with one parent during the week, has an overnight midweek visit with the other parent and alternates weekends between two households;

 

B.  A child alternates living with one parent every other week

 

C.  A child lives with one parent during the week and visits the other parent every weekend or alternating weekends

 

D.  A child lives 2 days with one parent, 2 days with the other parent and alternates spending the next 3 day period with each parent.

 

E.  Holidays can be divided between the parents yearly or alternate yearly or be allocated however you choose in a settlement agreement. For example, a child can spend a portion of Winter Break, Spring Break or Summer Vacation with a parent.  Or, a child can spend the entire time period with a parent subject to a yearly alternating schedule.  Or, the parents can select something different such as allocating certain holidays to a particular parent.

 

Ultimately, you can create whatever type of visitation schedule you think will be in your child's best interest and propose it.  You can create one proposed schedule or multiple options.  Take at least 3 copies of your proposal with you so you, the mediator, and your child's other parent can review it during the mediation.

#2  Remember Mediation is Voluntary 

Just remember that mediation is voluntary so you do not have to reach an agreement.  This means you absolutely do not have to sign an agreement you do not feel good about.  So, do not be tricked into signing an agreement you do not want to sign.  Just say "No" and walk away from it.   

Ultimately, if you do not resolve your custody and visitation issues via mediation the next step will be to either pursue another round of negotiation or have the judge decide these issues.   

#3  Adopt a Winning Mindset

Child Custody Mediation is about reasonable compromise in order to formulate a custody and visitation plan that is in your child's best interest.  That means neither parent will likely get everything they want in a settlement but hopefully through reasonable compromise they will be able to formulate a custody and visitation plan that is in their child's best interest. 

 

When you go into child custody mediation with a mind open to reasonable compromise and a strong desire to formulate a custody and visitation plan that is in your child's best interest, you're more likely to settle your custody and visitation issues.  

 

 

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