Pamela Wright, ESQ.

My New E-book - 29 Strategies to Empower You

Are you ready to get empowered?  If so, On Your Mark, Get Ready, Go!!!

Divorce is a transformational process and being aware of this is critical.  Some women arrive at the door of divorce in denial about what is really happening.  They want to believe so badly that their husbands are going to take care of them and their children that they fail to plan properly for their future and the consequences can be devastating.  On the other side of this mountain are those women who arrive at the door of divorce in reality of their circumstances and quickly constructs a plan to provide for their children and themselves. 

In September 2008, I finished writing my new E-book 29 Strategies to Empower You to help women overcome challenges including those that arise during a divorce.  This E-book will help you overcome challenges by providing you with powerful, natural strategies that help you overcome emotions, take action and find success.

This E-book sells for $17.00.  It is my prayer that it will help many women around the world overcome challenges and find success.  Send an email to pamela@thefamilylawcompany.com for your FREE Gift Copy Now!  Just put 29 Strategies to Empower You FREE Gift Copy in the subject line.

Whatever you're going through, know there is a path to empowerment. 

To Your Empowerment,

Pam

You've Got 30 Days to File Your Response to the Divorce Petition

You've just been served with divorce papers.  "Now What?" you might be thinking.  Well, in California you have 30 days to respond to a divorce petition.  If you don't respond, your spouse can have a default entered against you and proceed to obtain a default judgment.  And nobody wants to be on the receiving end of a default trying to explain to a judge why it's unfair and should be set aside.

Here's 1 Step to follow once you've been served: 

     Step 1 -  Get your Response filed with the court within 30 days of being served. 

Have your lawyer do it.  If you don't have a lawyer, make sure you get your Response filed with the court on time.

Good Luck,

Pam

Waitress, Baking Pies & Finding A Way Out

Last night I watched a new movie on DVD called Waitress.  I was looking for a comedy but found it to be quite dramatic.  It was well written and directed.  Actress Keri Russell of Felicity fame and the supporting cast did a great job!  This movie takes you into the life of a  waitress who makes amazing pies and happens to be stuck in an abusive marriage.  When she gets pregnant life puts her on another path of discovery that leads to ... 

This waitress has a gift for making pies.  She loves baking pies and is very good at it.  This gift opens the door to the rest of her life. 

In today's economy, being the best at something is a good thing.  And when you can trade what you're good at for a profit that is very good indeed.  Whether you own a business and sell a product or service, or are employed by a company and sell your skills, we're all involved in trading. 

If you're trying to figure out what to trade in order to create an economically sustainable lifestyle for yourself or family, I would suggest reading Jim Collins' book called Good to Great over the Holidays.  It focuses on common traits found in some of the most successful companies over the past 50 years.  These findings can be applied to running a business or to the business of working for someone else as an employee.

I read a quote this morning that said, "Reality is what you make it."  I am finding that to be quite true.   

Happy Holidays!

Pam

Holistic Divorce

Is anybody wondering what is Holistic Divorce?  Well, it is an approach to divorce wherein a person is viewed as a "whole person" and guided to develop cost-effective divorce strategies that are in their best interests. 

I advocate Holistic Divorce as a 21st century solution to the Self-Destructive Divorce approach which became very popular in the 20th century and still reigns in many courtrooms today. 

The problem with Self-Destructive Divorce is that nobody really wins.  It is very expensive and has cost many families the equity or much of the equity in their biggest asset -- their house.  Have you ever heard someone say during or after their divorce any of the following:  1) I had no idea my divorce was going to cost over $50,000, 2) I had no idea my divorce was going to cost over $100,000, 3) I had no idea all my equity in the house was going to my lawyer, and 4) I had no idea I'd have no money left after paying my legal bill.  I could have used some of that money for my kids' college fund? 

Holistic Divorce is focused on finding solutions that take into consideration a person is a "whole person" before, during and after the divorce process.  This approach does not process divorce in a tunnel which is only focused on winning through costly litigation.  Today, many people have come to understand that this tunnel vision approach has used up the assets and equity of many families to leave them with the same result they could have gotten through a less expensive divorce approach. 

Life goes on after divorce and our 21st century economy demands that those going through divorce protect their equity and assets from unnecessary, costly litigation.  Sometimes, costly litigation is necessary but many times a win/win settlement agreement can be reached through mediation, the collaborative divorce process or settlement oriented litigation.  Holistic Divorce is dedicated towards helping people find these cost-effective strategies that can help them formulate solutions that are in their best interests as a whole person.

Happy Holidays,

Pam

Your Honor, We Don't Want A Divorce, We're Getting Back Together!

One day I was sitting in court waiting for my case to be called and the case heard before mine went something like this.  Facts have been changed but the gist of the story remains. 

Judge:  I'm calling the case of Smith v. Smith. 

Petitioner:  Good Morning, Your Honor. 

Respondent nods his head up and down to confirm it is indeed a good morning.

Judge:  We're here today on Petitioner's OSC for support.  Have the parties exchanged their Income and Expense Declarations.

Petitioner:  No, Your Honor. 

Judge:  Well, you need to do that in order for child and spousal support to be calculated. 

Petitioner:  We're not getting divorced, Your Honor.  We've decided to reconcile and stay together.

Judge looks at Respondent. 

Judge:  Is this true, sir?

Respondent nods his head in affirmation.

Judge;  I need a verbal response sir, so the court reporter can record what you're saying.

Respondent:  Yes, we're getting back together.

The courtroom erupts in thunderous applause.  The judge starts pounding the gavel. 

Judge:  Quiet in the courtroom...

And for a moment you think you're watching a scene from Divorce Court. 

Does this really happen?  Yes!  Not everyday but it does happen.  Sometimes, couples reconcile and stop their divorce.  The legal way to do this would be to have the divorce petition dismissed.  Also, any response requesting divorce would need to be dismissed too.

Last Saturday I had the pleasure to attend an inspiring Marriage Enrichment Workshop with my husband which was sponsored by Turning Point Christian Church, www.TurningPointLA.com.  The workshop was taught by the dynamic Joe Beam of Family Dynamics Institute, www.FamilyDynamics.net.  Joe has done great work in the field of 1) Marriage Enrichment and 2) Saving Marriages in Crisis.  Going to marriage enrichment classes are great because they teach couples about the art of communication and growing together.  I say people go to college, graduate school, medical school, law school for "upteen" years and continue on with continuing education credits but do not devote the same passion to building a healthy marrige.  After "I Do" we do not magically become relationship experts.  Having a healthy marriage is a verb... 

Many people going through divorce have no desire to turn back.  The picture has faded to black and they are ready to move on.  From personal experience, I can share that is how I felt in my first marriage which ended in divorce.  For those, however, who want to reconcile and are willing to do the work it takes --- there is hope because it has been done! 

Many Blessings,

Pam

Does A Homemaker Have A Right to the Pension and Retirement Plans in a Divorce?

Listen Up, in California a pension and/or retirement plan acquired during the marriage is community property which means it belongs 50/50 to husband and wife.  Also, any pension and/or retirement plan previously owned by your spouse before marriage but which has grown during the marriage has a community property interest which belongs 50/50 to husband and wife. 

Please do not be confused about your rights and entitlement to 50% of the community property interest in a pension and/or retirement plan.  For example, let's assume Monica married Michael and was a homemaker during their 9 year marrige.  Also, let's assume Elizabeth married Edward and was a homemaker during their 25 year marriage.  During these marriages only the husbands worked outside the home and earned incomes that contributed to the pension and retirement plans. 

When it comes time to divide the pension and retirement plans Michael tells Monica, "That's my pension, you didn't work for it and you don't have any right to it.  I don't care what the law says, the law is wrong, you're not entitled to any of my pension and retirement benefits."  Edward, on the other hand, doesn't outright deny Elizabeth's interest in the pension and retirement plans but he won't talk to her about it or respond to her requests for information about it.

The above scenarios play out all the time all over LA County, California and beyond.  I'm writing today for all those in California confused about their interest in what should be called "The Family Pension and Retirement Plans."  A homemaker has every right to share equally in any pension and/or retirement plan that builds during the marriage (unless of course their was a prenup providing otherwise).  Statistics show that many women's economic standard of living goes down after divorce while many men's standard of living goes up.  In a divorce, a homemaker must make financially wise decisions to protect her assets, build her financial portfolio and secure her future.  And if she has children, she must protect her children's economic future too.

Is anyone wondering what happened in the above scenarios?  Well, Monica gave in to Michael's ranting and let him keep the pension and retirement plans.  She did not get the assets she was entitled to and deserved in their divorce settlement.  To this day, she regrets the decision.  On the other side of town, Elizabeth counts her blessings every day.  During the divorce Elizabeth stood her ground, hired a good lawyer, and got the divorce settlment she was entitled to and deserved. 

Pam